21 Days of Choosing Me

 

What 21 Days of Transformation Taught Me

I don’t always finish things.

I start with good intentions. I get excited about an idea, a practice, a project, a routine. And then life happens. Motherhood happens. Work happens. The house gets messy. The emotions get big. The days move fast. And sometimes the thing I wanted to commit to slowly slips into the background.

But this time, I finished.

Today was Day 21 of my 21-day transformation challenge, and I felt genuinely proud of myself. Not because I did it perfectly. Not because every day was peaceful or beautiful or easy. But because I kept showing up.

On Day 1, I wrote myself a note. I wanted to be open-minded, a learner, consistent, and thoughtful about completing the challenge. I wanted to release self-doubt and judgment — judgment of myself and judgment of others. I wanted to clear my mind each day and start with clarity. I wanted to release my fear of slowing down. I wanted to call in awareness, presence, patience, peace, and love.

So much love.

And looking back now, I can see that those words became the thread running through the whole experience.

Gratitude

One of the first days that really stayed with me was the day centered around gratitude.

At the time, I had been carrying so much anxiety around my business — getting things set up, wondering if I was doing it right, questioning if I was ready, and trying to make something real while still learning as I went.

Then the prompt invited me to write down what I was grateful for.

It sounds simple, but something shifted.

I realized gratitude is not just saying thank you for the obvious things. It is noticing the support, signs, timing, people, lessons, and little moments that are already holding you. It is realizing that abundance is not only about money or success. Sometimes abundance is presence. Connection. Love. The courage to begin. The ability to see how far you’ve come.

That day helped me understand that I was not starting from nothing.

I was already surrounded by so much.

Courage

Another day that felt powerful was the day about courage.

The prompt was to do the thing I had been avoiding — the text, the call, the conversation, the step I had not been able to take.

That one hit me immediately.

There was someone who had been on my heart for months. I had felt hurt, conflicted, confused, and unsure of what to say. Part of me wanted to reach out. Part of me wanted to stay quiet. I didn’t want to come from anger or judgment, but I also didn’t want to keep pretending I wasn’t feeling anything.

That same day, courage kept showing up everywhere. In the challenge. In something I saw online. In a sound bath and Reiki circle I attended. The message kept repeating itself until I finally listened.

Be brave.

Return to love.

Say the truth with compassion.

So I did.

I reached out honestly. I shared what I had been feeling. I admitted where I had been hurt, where I had judged, and where I still had love. And afterward, I felt lighter. Not because everything was instantly fixed, but because I had stopped carrying something silently.

That day taught me that courage does not always look loud.

Sometimes courage is a soft text sent with a shaking heart.

Forgiveness

There were also days when the transformation did not feel spiritual or pretty. It felt like motherhood.

I had a hard morning with DJ, and I reacted in a way I didn’t feel good about. Later, I found out he had also had a rough day at school. The guilt hit me hard.

I wanted to spiral into shame.

Instead, I tried to pause.

I held my selenite and created a small forgiveness ritual for myself. I reminded myself that guilt can be a signal that I care, but shame does not help me repair. I told myself that I am allowed to be human. I am allowed to make mistakes. I am allowed to try again.

That moment mattered because it showed me something I am still learning:

I don’t need to be a perfect mother to be a loving mother.

I can repair.

I can apologize.

I can return to love.

Motivation

Day 11 was motivation.

The prompt was simple: hold the carnelian, think of one thing I had been procrastinating, set a timer for 10 minutes, and just start.

Not finish the whole project.

Not fix my entire life.

Just start.

For me, it was my office.

My office had become the physical evidence of all the ways I had been putting myself in the backseat. I kept telling myself I would get to it later. Other things were more important. Other people needed me. The work, the kids, the house, the errands, the emotional processing, the business building — everything came first.

And then one day I looked around and realized my space had become a reflection of how long I had been postponing myself.

So I set the timer.

Ten minutes.

That was it.

And it felt good.

That day reminded me that clarity does not always come before action.

Sometimes clarity comes because you start.

Truth

Day 17 asked me to practice my truth.

This one felt harder.

The prompt asked me to think of something I had been avoiding saying — to myself or to someone else — and practice saying it out loud.

I didn’t know what to write at first because truth can feel so big. But eventually I realized the truth did not need to be dramatic. It only needed to be honest.

My truth was this:

I am tired of pretending I can carry everything alone.

I need support.

I need space.

I need patience with myself.

I am doing a lot. Motherhood. Work. Building a business. Healing. Growing. Trying to understand myself. Trying to become more peaceful and present. Trying to be a better version of myself without abandoning the version of me that is still learning.

My truth is that I matter too.

My needs matter too.

My peace matters too.

Completion

And then came Day 21.

Completion.

The final gift was a little bottle of fluorite chips — clarity you can take with you.

That felt perfect.

Because by the end of the challenge, I did not feel like I had become a completely different person. I felt like I had become more aware of the person I am trying to become.

I am still a work in progress.

I was not the kind of mom I wanted to be every single day. I was not perfectly patient. I did not always slow down before reacting. I did not magically release every fear or doubt or old pattern.

But I was more present.

I noticed more.

I watched my kids ride their scooters and copy each other’s poses and laugh. I painted. I created. I had more conversations. I told my children how much I love them and how grateful I am for them. I looked at my life and realized that so much beauty is already here, hidden inside the ordinary moments I sometimes rush past.

I want more of that.

More presence.

More patience.

More creativity.

More awareness.

More gratitude.

More love.

Always more love.

What I’m Taking With Me

This challenge taught me that transformation does not always happen in huge, dramatic breakthroughs.

Sometimes it happens in 10 minutes.

In one text.

In one apology.

In one page of writing.

In one moment of noticing your child laughing.

In one breath before reacting.

In one small choice to return to love.

I started this challenge wanting clarity, peace, presence, patience, and love.

I ended it realizing that these things are not destinations I arrive at once and keep forever. They are practices. Choices. Returns.

I will lose them sometimes.

And then I will come back.

That may be the whole point.

Keep coming back.

To awareness.

To gratitude.

To courage.

To truth.

To myself.

To love.