It's called Shinrin-Yoku

I had to write because the most beautiful, emotional, full-circle thing happened today, and of course the ring maker is part of the story.

This morning I was feeling stuck in the house. Nothing dramatic, just that restless, anxious, heavy feeling where my body knew before my mind did that I needed to get out. At first I went into the backyard and stood in the sun for a little while. I did a little yardwork, tried to let the light hit my skin, and then I realized I didn’t just need to go outside ... I needed to really leave the house.

So I went to the nature center.

And for some reason, I decided to do it differently today.

I left my phone in the car.

I only took my key and my chapstick. No phone, no camera, no videos, no pictures, no way to capture anything. I just wanted to do the walk exactly as it was and experience it with my own eyes.

And almost immediately, everything felt different.

The light looked different. The trees looked different. I could hear the wind moving through the branches, birds, little things falling from the trees, rustling everywhere. I could feel the air on my skin. It was like I had been there so many times before, but today I was actually there.

At one point I saw this huge leaf falling from above me, and it didn’t just fall straight down. It moved side to side, slowly, almost like it was dancing its way to the ground. And I just thought, wow, I actually got to see that. Not through my phone. Not as a video. Not as something to post. Just with my own eyes.

Then I sat and watched this little squirrel eat a peanut. I swear I could have stayed there forever. She kept putting the peanut into the side of her mouth, sitting up on her back legs, her little nose twitching. Normally I would have tried to record it, but today I just watched her. And it felt so sweet and simple and magical.

And then I realized I had somehow been walking the trail backwards.

The same trail I have walked so many times, but from the opposite direction. Everything familiar looked different. And I thought, that feels exactly like this season of my life. Same life, same responsibilities, same family, same me but somehow I am seeing it all from a different direction.

At one point I came to a crossroads. One way went toward the two-mile trail and the other toward the bathrooms. I did have to use the restroom, but I thought, “I’ll make it,” and went the other way.

But somehow, after walking for a while, I ended up right back near the bathrooms anyway. I started laughing because apparently I really did need to go. And then I looked to the left and saw the huge tree that looks like a Tree of Life. I've seen it many times.

Today it looked massive and rooted and bare, with all these branches reaching up in every direction. I had completely forgotten it was there. It felt like I had been brought back to it because if I had gone the other way I might not have passed the bathrooms to see it. Amazing.

I remembered the ring maker told me that she touched them or hugged them. So, that's what I did, I walked over, put my hands on it, closed my eyes, and asked it to take anything heavy from me. Anything complete. Anything I didn’t need to carry. Anything that was not mine anymore. I pictured the roots in the ground pulling the energy out of me. I smiled.

So I walked away and I started walking back down the trail and I was a bit confused because I couldn't remember which way I had come. Or which way I needed to go. And I was walking up the trail and saw these beautiful sunflowers all over and I thought to myself oh I don't remember seeing these the way I just came. I saw so many sunflowers, which I’ve been feeling so connected to lately. I watched one fat little bee move from flower to flower with pollen all over its back legs. I saw a turtle climb out of the water to sunbathe. I helped a praying mantis get safely up into a tree after some kids were kicking dirt near it. I even found a little water spout after leaving my water in the car. It was just one tiny magical moment after another

Later on the walk, I found another big tree, this one was so tall and so fat I could barely even put my arms around it. I walked over to it I put both hands on it and I closed my eyes and felt that same release but stronger. It felt like my body finally exhaled. Like the trees were helping me call my energy back and let go of what I didn’t need to keep holding.

I could literally feel the heaviness leaving my body. With my eyes closed, I could almost see it moving across my eyelids like smoke or steam, leaving me and going into the tree. I was shocked. I could hear people walking behind me, and I knew I probably looked strange standing there with both hands on a tree and my eyes closed, but I didn’t care.

I didn’t care at all.

I just felt calm and happy.

And the wildest part is that I have no photos of any of it.

No proof.

Just the feeling that it happened.

When I got home, the crystals I bought from someone on Facebook had arrived. Honestly, it could have been a total sham. I had no idea what I was really getting, but I opened everything up and there was everything I ordered....little set of amethyst rune stones... which I thought to myself, that those symbols look familiar LOL I also got a thick Lepidolite, a little palm labradorite and a raw Crystal amethyst that I can set by my bed.

So I cleansed them, held them, and pulled one of the little stones.

And the one I pulled was Mannaz.

The rune of the self, humanity, identity, connection, community, and coming back to yourself.

That already felt meaningful after the walk I had just taken... after leaving my phone behind, touching the trees, releasing heaviness, feeling myself come back into my body.

But then I looked at the rune again and thought, “Wait… why does that look so familiar?”

And then it hit me.

It looked like one of the runes inside my very first Atlantis ring.

The first ring that I got on Etsy from the Ukraine.

The one that started this entire journey.

The ring I received almost exactly a year ago... September 5th. Holy cow, almost a year to the day.

I pulled out the ring and looked at the engraving:

ᛋᚢᚾ9 ᛗᛟᛟᚾ26 ᛋᚢᚾ26 ᛋᚢᚾ16

Sun 9 — Dexter.

Moon 26 — me.

Sun 26 — DJ.

Sun 16 — Lucian.

Our little family code.

And there it was.

The same rune I pulled today was inside the word MOON, which is the part of the engraving that represents me.

Moon 26.

Me. I'm floored. Is this real life

My birthday. My inner world. My intuition. My emotions. My motherhood. My place in the family circle.

I honestly felt emotional.

Because this ring was the very beginning. Before I understood any of this. Before the crystals, the cards, the sound baths, the writing, the numerology, the nature walks, the sister connection, all of it. This was the first breadcrumb.

I remember when I first got it, I was looking for protection and meaning and maybe something to hold onto. And then that whole strange experience happened where the ring ended up in the trash and I found it, and then I had that weird dream, and then I started researching more, and that eventually led me to you.

And now, almost a year later, after this deeply grounding nature walk where I literally felt the trees pulling heaviness out of me, I come home and pull the rune of the self -only to remember it was already engraved in the part of my first ring that represented me.

It feels like the beginning and the present touched each other.

Like the ring was saying from the beginning:

This is where you are going.

Back to yourself.

Not away from my family. Not away from my life. Not away from motherhood or responsibility or love. But back into myself while still held inside the circle of my family.

That is what feels so powerful to me.

Because so much of this journey has been learning that I can be connected to everyone I love without disappearing inside that connection. I can be Dexter’s partner, DJ and Lucian’s mom, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a helper, a business owner — and still be me.

I can hold love for everyone around me and still come back to myself.

The tree helped me release what was heavy.

The walk helped me experience presence without needing to document it.

The rune reminded me of the self.

And the ring reminded me that this message has been with me since the beginning.

Today was just so profound... I just can't even really believe it. I just feel so grateful and I feel so emotional. She is so woven into this whole story. Finding her and her work was such a huge part of this path opening up for me. And today it felt like I understood another little piece of it.

It feels crazy and beautiful and emotional and so full circle.

Almost one year later, the ring is still speaking.

And maybe I am finally quiet enough to understand it.

** I went back to the studio journal of the ring maker and her last entry was about forest bathing - apparently that's what I did today 😆 I hadn't put that together until now.